Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire.That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks." To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around.Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?.Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out the window when you're coming home his face might burn up.If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me. We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients.What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know. Titles By Jack Handey The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure What Id Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats Deeper Thoughts, All New Deep.
I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. He was a staff writer for Saturday Night Live, and has won two Emmy Awards and a Writers Guild of America Award.His humor pieces have appeare in the New Yorker, Outside, Playboy, National Lampoon, Punch, and other publications.He lives in Santa Fe, NM, with his wife, dog, and cats.
#Deep thoughts with jack handy series
"Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. Jack Handey is the author of the bestselling Deep Thoughts series of books. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone.
Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
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